I started becoming very desperate to have another child and give my only daughter a sibling. I really wanted an addition to my family. Nothing was forthcoming and as at this time, my daughter was 3years plus. So I decided to meet my doctor and after series of screening, he said that I was lactating because my breast was still producing milk. My body was sensing that I was still nursing a child, it was referred to as an automatic family planning.
My doctor gave me drugs for that and put me through some tests to check my fallopian tube. Some of the results states that I was not ovulating and that I have hormonal imbalance. He subjected me through series of treatments and I was adhering to them both the drugs and injections.
A few months into using the medication, I became pregnant. We were happy and then after some weeks, we lost the baby. It was painful but we were hopeful at the same time that at least the medication might be a solution to the problem. After the miscarriage, we started another level of treatment and one year passed without any sign of pregnancy. At this point, I became more desperate. The medications can’t be used for long because of the side effects. You will need to stop the medication at some point and this scared me because of its futuristic side effects. I was like, how can I subject my body through this type of treatment?
One day I had a visitation from the holyspirit, He came and told me “Phileomena, LIVE!” At that point I realised that I was becoming desperate, depressed, unhappy and ungrateful because even the beautiful child God had given me, I wasn’t even paying attention to her. I was just so determined to have another child whilst neglecting my daughter in the process.
After that encounter with the holyspirit, I called my doctor who is also my very good friend and told him politely that I will have to cut off all communications with him because he is a remembrance to my problem. I told him that I want to forget everything about treatment and that I want to trust God completely. So I went into seeking a deeper relationship with God. I started fasting for 3days without eating anything. I went into seeking God in deepest places. I started becoming very close to God and I was loving it. My mind started drifting away from my problems. I started rediscovering myself and finding my purpose. I became very happy and started loving my child like she was a thousand children.
In December, my neighbor who is a gynaecologist and also assisted in the evacuation of the baby I miscarried earlier, called me and started asking me if I was on any medication. I said No and when she opted to write one for me, I said these words to her, “I am trusting God completely”.
Two months after the encounter with my neighbor who is a gynaecologist , My wedding anniversary was fast approaching. So I asked the holyspirit , “what gift can I buy for my husband? Because he has been amazing and supportive. Holyspirit immediately instructed me to put a pregnancy test in a red plate I always use to serve dinner. I was like, pregnancy test? How? Whose?
I have learnt that when you are walking with the holyspirit, all you need to do is to obey and yield to him even when it seem as though you are crazy.
I rushed to a medical laboratory, took a pregnancy test and went to work. I completely forgot about the test till it was time to make dinner. So I excused myself from my husband telling him that I want to pick up something from New haven. I went back to the laboratory to collect my result. Immediately I reached the laboratory, the workers there kept saying, Aunty you will buy us drink o. I didn’t understand what they were saying till I saw my result and it was positive. I broke down and started crying because I couldn’t understand what was going on. Holyspirit came to me again right at the laboratory and said , “phileomena pull yourself together, this is not what I asked you to do. You have to go home, put that result on the plate and give your husband”. So I left. As I was driving, I was shaking and wailing. Infact, I couldn’t hold myself. I had to call my neighbor to meet me. When she came, I couldn’t say anything, she became scared and took the paper from my hand and immediately she read it, she started crying. We were crying and praising God. I managed to drive home and put the test result on the plate with an inscription, ‘Happy wedding anniversary’ as I was instructed. He opened it and we started praising God together. God has given us a gift. We were so excited and I informed my neighbor who is a gynaecologist. He was really excited and happy for us.
Immediately he got the news, he said that he will place me on progesterone and some other medications but I turned him down. I told him that God gave me this baby and will take care of it. After hearing that, he said, ‘Phil we will be foolish if we handle carelessly what God has given us”. I was moved by this statement and I instantly agreed to be placed on the medications he requested earlier. He placed me on every medication at the time to preserve the baby, just name it…hahahaha. I was also resting too.
Thirteen weeks and five days into the pregnancy, I was on my couch one day. I felt something watery on my leg, so I went to the bathroom to urinate and when I cleaned myself, I saw blood. I called my doctor immediately and told him what had happened. He instructed me to go for a scan and also to take the progesterone drug immediately. I went for the scan and the doctor discovered that there’s no heart beat. He asked me if I fell or if a car hit me, of which I said no. At that point I became numb. I couldn’t understand what was happening because I was almost in my second trimester.
After the scan, I went straight to the church altar. I was crying and talking to God. Like this is not the plan, what’s going on? Right there I heard a voice saying, ‘Go home’. Then I left for home and went to another scan centre but it was the same result: No heartbeat! It was confirmed that the baby had stopped living two days before then. The man prayed with us and said it will be well. Sincerely, I was numb. My husband was scared because he wanted me to react, at least cry or say something but I wasn’t reacting. I wanted to understand what was going on. I kept saying in my mind that this is God’s gift to me, what is going on?
I told my husband that I will be needing three days alone to pray and on the third day, I will know what to do. I was truly believing God for a heart beat. I called all my sisters in faith and they joined me in prayers. I started applying holy communion every three hours. I was praying but my husband was scared because of the implication of carrying a dead foetus in my womb for 3days. I was praying and praying and on the third day, I had a terrible dream. I saw a very fair baby with so much sore all over the body given to me. As I was a praying, I got a song, Nathaniel basseys song that goes like this , “Take the stage lord and have your way. I am just a vessel lord and nothing more and when you are done please take the glory. Satisfied, just to see you glorified.”. Immediately I got this song, I knew it was over. In the morning, I told my husband that I was ready for the evacuation. Before we were even planning to go to the hospital, labor started naturally and the baby came down. I came back home and I was strong and confident that the God who did it for me will do it again. I kicked back to life as usual. I kicked back to work and things that interests me like nothing had happened. It was painful but I had to move on.
I moved on, loving, trusting, believing, listening and following God the more. One year passed, nothing happened. The beginning of 2019, I got a visitation from the holyspirit in February. He said to me, “Philomena it seems to me that you do not want a baby because if you want a baby, there are things you should be doing to have a baby”. That was when I realised that whenever I was ovulating, I wasn’t making conscious effort to see my husband again because I completely removed my mind from the pain of tracking my pregnancy status every month. I wanted to be free. I didn’t know that it affected my sex life. Yes, I was making love to my husband but I wasn’t tracking my special days any longer.
Guess what? The day I had this visitation from the holyspirit, My ovulation period had passed. So He just said I should make love to my husband in the next two days. My husband came back and I told him about my visitation and he totally understood. After the two days passed, He visited me on the third day and told me not to make love again to my husband. At that point I was beginning to doubt if it was my voice or that of the holyspirit. Like how do I explain it to my husband? He might begin to see me as a strange being. After much thought, I didn’t tell my husband. To prevent having sex with him, while I put my daughter to sleep after praying and singing with her, I fall asleep in her room as soon as she sleeps too till morning. I was doing this for some time to avoid sleeping with my husband. One morning my husband called me and said, ‘I don’t understand you, were you not the one that said the holyspirit instructed you that we should have more sex and now you are running away?. At that point I explained to him and apologized after which he agreed to obey the instruction.
I still didn’t understand why I should starve my husband from sex and I asked holyspirit to make this instruction rational to me. After that, he told me to go and take a pregnancy test. That was when my human senses started messing with me. I had so many thoughts one of which is what people will say again when they see me trying to do a pregnancy test, are you not the woman always coming here for pregnancy test and it turns out negative?. Another voice suggested I use the money I want to use for scanning to buy coldstone ice cream…hahahaha. The last voice said I should wait till I miss my period and why am I stressing myself. Remember I had already asked the holyspirit for a rational meaning of the situation for which he instructed to go for scanning.
I went to the scanning centre, did the test and asked the guy to send me the result on whatsApp. Around midday, I got a message on my whatsApp and it was positive. I called the number and asked if it was my result and the guy said yes. I told him to keep the original copy of the result that I will be coming for it. I was even acting like the original was different from what he sent to my phone. I went to the laboratory at the end of the day and picked the result. I opened the result and it was positive. I was quiet because I couldn’t understand what was happening. My husband came back that day very tired and was complaining, so I told him to take it easy that he is about to have another child. He was surprised and excited at the same time. We began to praise God. After two days, my husband called me saying, ‘is the result you showed me correct’? I told him that I am confused as well and I am waiting to miss my period. We both laughed.
God did it and I missed my period! I was pregnant. The issue of the next step to take now came up. What do I do? Three names popped up in my head. When God sends you on a mission, He gives you a means. God gave me the name of a Dr named chigbu, a reverend and a pastor. I was warned to look out for corruptible seed and for that reason, I had to hide myself from my neighbor who is also a gynaecologist so he doesn’t know that I am pregnant. I hid for like 11 weeks and on the 12th week, my husband suggested I let my neighbor know because they have been nice to us. Prior before then, my husband and I had argued about who to trust our pregnancy with because after having two miscarriages, you are meant to be placed on progesterone and the likes. I needed to know God’s word concerning this before doing anything. Yes I know that science is a blessing but on the other hand, I also know that faith works.
One morning, I felt the presence of God so strongly and he said to me, ‘Phil what month is this?’ I said we are in March. He said, “ what month was the last pregnancy I gave you?” I said wow, it was March. Our wedding anniversary was in march if you can recall and at that moment I broke down. This is the lord telling me that He has come again to give me this same gift at the same time like the last one, choose today who you want to preserve this gift!
That day I purposed in my heart to surrender totally to God. No medicine, No nothing! I will trust God to keep this baby. On the 12th week, I went to visit my neighbor and he was so happy with the news. After the excitement, he started writing the drugs again, so I reminded him of what he said about the drug not having effect after 12weeks. He said, ‘Infact, we are not supposed to stop at twelve weeks, we have to continue for some time that without the drug, the pregnancy won’t be successful’. He now made a statement saying that he doesn’t doubt the voice speaking to me but he feels I must use the medications for the baby to survive. At that point holyspirit said to me, ‘what did you come to do?. I said to announce my pregnancy. Then holyspirit told me, ‘then announce and go home’.
I announced my pregnancy, didn’t argue with him and went home. You know one thing about corruptible seeds? It will start producing other damaging seeds. I couldn’t sleep that night. infact, all signs of pregnancy left my body. All the symptoms I was having left. I started becoming scared that I will see blood if I don’t take that medicine. By the next morning I had to go into full time prayer. I called my sisters to pray with me. I even talked to a lady who had an encounter with God. She just finished giving birth to her fourth baby girl. She does sex selection for people but somehow her own doesn’t work and because of her encounter with God, she came to an understanding that all the sex selection that people claim is their doing is not theirs but of God. She told me to take the drug as a sign of obedience towards my husband as long as I know what is backing me. I rebuked her immediately and asked her, what role does faith have to play in this? If am taking medications, then I am taking medications and if am trusting God, I should do that completely. I believed that faith will keep my baby all the way through the pregnancy.
I prayed before going for my first antenatal visit with the doctor, the holyspirit instructed me to see. I prayed with my friends too and there was a declaration made that God is going to use my son as a vessel and whatever God wants to do, that he will speak through him. I went to the antenatal with my mind open. He said I won’t be needing any progesterone. He said we should trust God for second trimester and I went home praying every week and believing God to see us through.
I want to thank Dimma for the amazing encounter she had, she went into prayers after I called her and explained everything to her. The next day she called me and told me that while she was praying holyspirit told her that the baby is a boy and we should not even worry about whether the baby will make it. At this point I have not checked the gender of the baby and faith was built up knowing that I had people praying for me including her mum that also assured me of God’s word concerning the pregnancy.
It was a smooth pregnancy and I rested a whole lot. I am a very active and hardworking person but because of this baby, I had to rest. I stayed off work, God gave me a cleaner and we found a way of buying soups. I spent my time dwelling on God’s word and reading books when I can. I was just resting and enjoying Gods’ presence.
5months into the pregnancy, my feet started swelling but after my test, the result was normal. Prior to this baby, with my daughter I had eclampsia. I went into seizure, I almost lost my life but God preserved me. At five months and my feet getting swollen was not a good sign but I was relaxed. Gods’ word told me, “I am the giver and the sustainer”.
All through the days I was trusting God even though sometimes my faith will be shaken and I will go for a scan to see the heartbeat. One day the holyspirit said to me, “I have given you my word, just be anxious for nothing”. Few weeks into third trimester my body started accumulating water and my feet became really swollen. I was hopeful even when everyone around me was really scared. I had to rebuke one of my aunty that advised me to remove the baby once he is 35 weeks. I told her that God will not give me a premature baby.
One day while I went for antenatal, I was 30 weeks gone then but that day the holyspirit said, ’remind the doctor the history of your first child’. My doctor knew about it but the holyspirit instructed I talk about it again. Immediately I reminded him of how I had my daughter and went into seizure, he called a pediatrician and asked if it’s okay to have a cesarean delivery to bring out the baby at 36 weeks of which he said it was fine. After calling the pediatrician, I asked him why he suggested that since he was the one helping me build my faith and he said, ‘ Phil I heard a voice say SUDDEN and that I will have pre eclampsia again and this time will be worse than the first time and it will be sudden’! He told me that we have to be prepared for that and that he will give me an injection to prepare the baby’s lungs at 36 weeks. I was so disturbed that night and I went to God and asked him why I should take an injection now since I didn’t take it at the prime stage. Gods’ word came to me saying,“ Be still. I have not abandoned you in this journey, everything you needed I have given you’.
I asked God for a sign if he wants me to take the injection. I told him that I needed just one sister to hold hands with me and pray for me.
I prayed alone, I was trying to reach out to my friends but everybody was busy because it was a week day. For no reason, one of my friend that hardly visits came that evening to my house. While talking to her, I told her about going for an injection that evening and without me telling her to pray with me even though I planned on telling her later on, she just started praying. I got the sign and was really happy.
At 33 weeks, I went for scanning and there was no heart beat. My doctor was worried but I was not worried. There is something faith does, “faith gives you joy for the journey, comfort for your life and thanksgiving in advance”. My doctor said that if the baby is relapsing, then we would have to remove it that day but I rebuked it saying that my baby will not be premature. We rushed to the hospital and behold everything was fine. I went home preparing myself and trusting God through the journey.
To the glory of God, on the 31st of October, my eyes saw the goodness of the lord. I was truly crying because it is one thing to believe God for something, it is another thing to see it come alive. I feel privileged to have faith, ask God for something and in my lifetime, he did it.
My sons’ name also came from a place of worship. It was a Sunday morning and I couldn’t go to church. I was listening repeatedly to a song that talks about God giving us all that we need and God being our treasure. Hearing that worship over time, my husband told me that God has given him a name for our child UGOMNAFU meaning the treasure I see. My son is a gift from God and looking at him everyday reminds me of Gods’ faithfulness. With all that I have experienced in the past few years, I can surely say that with God all things are possible including bring a baby that doesn’t exist into being.
I am thankful to God for helping me break the barrier that said I could not conceive naturally.
To my sisters reading this, I want to let you know that;
IT’S ONLY CRAZY UNTIL IT HAPPENS!