I met a tall, handsome and dark guy. As if that was the criteria to be in a relationship with a guy, then we started dating. I was a virgin and he talked me into sleeping with him. I agreed because I wanted to seal our love, so I did and got pregnant.
You can’t secure the love you have for someone by giving so much of yourself away.
I had to abort the pregnancy. In my mind, the decision was logical and clinical. I knew it was wrong but I gave myself a million seemingly sensible reasons why I should carry on with it. I saw the pregnancy as an inconvenience that needed to be taken care of. There was a lot of shame associated with handling the issue rationally as opposed to doing what was right, keeping the child.
It was also justified by the general statement being embraced by women nowadays, “a woman has the right to do whatever she pleases with her body”, the part of pleasing God was excluded.
I went to the doctors’ office alone with the money I stole from my mother and had the baby removed. I locked all memories of it and threw the key away. I felt bad for not feeling guilty enough, but did it stop me from not making the same mistake again? NO!
Two years later, I went back to that guy who got me pregnant and denied it. Along the line, I got pregnant again and kept the pregnancy till three months before letting him know. Guess what? He denied it again and I had to use my money to take it out.
Don’t be so quick to run back to the thing that broke you.
Right after the second abortion, I never felt the same again. Guilt gripped me all round. I couldn’t forgive myself. I also stopped going to church because I felt it was best for me to hide from God. At the sight of a baby, my heart bleeds and I kept wishing I could turn back the hands of time.
God always gives you the choice between His plans and yours. Don’t choose from a limited perspective for a temporary gratification.
One day, a colleague invited me to a womens’ program. It was the turning point of my life. It was such a refreshing and transforming day for me. I asked God for forgiveness and started to walk in His forgiveness, declaring His love for me every time the devil tries to condemn me.
No matter the gravity of sin you have committed, be reminded that “There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”!
Do I wish I did things differently? Yes. But regret is a time waster and a heart eater. I have forged ahead, accepted God’s forgiveness and forgiven myself too.
If my story resonates with you, please let go of the hurt and forgive yourself. God has already forgiven you and He thinks you are worth it.
If you are currently at the same crossroads where I found myself years ago, PLEASE DON’T DO IT!
There is no justification for taking the life of that precious one.
“He left the 99 for the 1” hits a little different when you realize that 1 was YOU.
Jesus Loves You Unconditionally and He Is Willing To Take You Back With Open Arms Irrespective Of What You Think You Have Done.