My Freedom from Insecurity

I grew up as the only girl among five boys. We were used to playfully insulting each other.  Oftentimes, they’d laugh at my thick lips or at my skin colour because I was quite dark. I was barely an average student in school.

My parents also didn’t know any better because they didn’t flog us but they would verbally abuse us till the point of tears. This happened often for me because I was often among the worst performing students in my class.

By the time I got into secondary school, I had already become hardened emotionally. People’s insults couldn’t reach me because I had been called worse names. At that time, I didn’t know the impact of all those words on my mindset. I believed that there was something wrong with me, I just couldn’t understand easily no matter how hard that I tried. I was just going through the activities in school but was not enthusiastic about it. I didn’t have any ambition in the university.

My life was never the same after 2013.

After the Easter holidays, I found out that we had a new Biology teacher. Mrs Dorcas was going to teach us for the rest of the school year. I didn’t really care so much about that fact but I noticed that there was something different about her.

She moved with a certain air of peace and confidence around her, I was intrigued about that but I didn’t pay attention to her. Funny enough she took a liking to me and she would invite me to her table in the staff room and give me books to read. She offered to teach me tips and tricks to help me remember things taught in school.

I was quite clumsy back then and I used knock things off her table and I would say, “stupid me” or “I’m so careless and clumsy”.

She often corrected me immediately and said that I was smart and careful. She told me that I was beautiful and God had a plan for my life.  She was so sure that I was going to be great in life. I don’t know why she felt like that but after a while, I started believing her.  On some days when I was having difficulty understanding what I was reading, I would say to myself, “ I am smart and intelligent so I have understanding of what I am reading”.

She introduced me to affirmations and we created a collection of cards that contained Bible verses and promises of God. I would say the affirmations three times everyday and it soon became a habit. Even when I made a mistake, I would still say to myself that I was blessed and I had clarity about what I needed to do.

I didn’t necessarily switch up my study routine but in the next exams, I was more confident about what I had read. My results were better that ever. When I went home and my parents would still say harsh words when they were angry, I would counteract them in my mind. I took hold of God’s promises and held onto them. Those promises became my reality. The next session, my academic performance had improved to the point where I was now among the top five students in my class.

I am a living testimony that there is power in spoken words. Affirming God’s word over your life has a way of changing the trajectory of your life for good.

If this story resonates with you, start with the affirmations below;

• I am a daughter of the King.(1 Peter 2:9)
• I am remarkably made. (Psalm 139:14)
• I am worth more than rubies.(Proverbs 31:10)
• I am always on God’s mind. (Psalms 139:13)
• I am more than a conqueror. (Romans 8:31)
• I am strong and courageous. (Deuteronomy 31:6)
• God is intentional with my life; all things are working for my good. (Romans 8:28)
• I have a future filled with hope. (Jeremiah 29:11)
• I have everything I need to flourish. (2 Peter 1:3)
• Fear does not hold me captive. (2 Timothy 1:7)

Love you
Xoxo

Amaka