Fear is a terrible thing.
When you add worry, anxiety and panic, it becomes one cocktail for failure.
As a child, I had a penchant for worrying, I would worry about things that didn’t even concern me.
When I write exams, I would wake up at night trying to calculate the possible scores of an exam I was yet to write. I was so scared and full of fear to the extent that after reading, I would enter the exam hall and forget what I read.
Fear held me down, it was like a cloak of darkness over me.
The worst part was that I always appeared calm and controlled on the outside. I would be bold outside and cry my eyes out when I was alone.
Fear costed me relationships and opportunities, I would start applications for awards and grants that I qualified for but I would talk myself out of them. In my eyes, I was no good. No matter how much people praised my abilities, it made no difference.
Until you begin to see yourself through the lens of God’s eyes, fear won’t let go of you.
All the while, I have been a Christian. I could pray in tongues, I spoke Christianese (a language that sounded like how Children of God should speak). Hahahaha
I was a worker in church, I didn’t party or do any worldly thing but that made no difference.
From all appearances, I was doing all the right things and that was the problem. The word that I heard in sermons and in books was not taking root in my heart. I was only bold in the presence of other believers but my own fire and fellowship with God was non -existent.
This pattern continued until one day when I have had enough of this lukewarm life. I poured my heart to God and told him all my cares and worries. I wrote out everything that I worried about and took out a day in a week to pray about it. By the end of the first week, I held my head higher, I felt God with me all the way. I started studying the word of God and I discovered God’s promises to me. I no longer worry or live in fear because my best friend – the Holy Ghost lives in me. The song below by Bethel music is a safe haven for me.
From my mothers womb
You have chosen me
Love has called my name
I’ve been born again, into a family
Your blood flows through my veins
I’m no longer a slave to fear
I am a child of God
Today I’m free and not scared to chase my dreams.
I’m not just bold outwardly but also inwardly.
I can now command the value I deserve.
Sis , do not let fear prevent you from being all that God has called you to be.
I can imagine..
What a freedom!
Even in ur abilities which were glaring,fear still got its hold….then what would one without all such intelligence n abilities do……
Fear should b bound just like the devil……thanks God for u sister……