As a child, I had always been a voracious reader, I often read everything that I could place my hands on. I literally read all the books in my primary school library and when I got into secondary school, it continued that way.
I started reading about sexual escapades in secondary school and those novels were often very descriptive and stirred up my imagination.
One day, I started masturbating and soon it became a very bad habit. I only engage in it when I was at home during the holidays and soon it almost took control of me, I couldn’t stop it. Once my parents would go out, I would start it up until they would come back. It was really bad!
Masturbation is the bait that satan uses to become a master of you.
The breaking point came one day when I was in the act, I couldn’t remember how it all happened but I ended up having a cut on my finger which was bleeding very badly. The bleeding continued so I called my dad about the cut and he reassured me that I would be okay
In that moment, I just told myself that I have had enough of this madness and I really need to stop!
The reality is that masturbation will never be enough to satisfy you!
Shortly after that time, I had to resume back in boarding school. One Sunday, the pastor was preaching about how the devil deceives us and fills us with guilt which prevents us from having access to what God had done on the cross for us.
Once the law was nailed to the cross of Jesus, God knew that the law no longer had the power to condemn man as long as he believed in Jesus.
Right there and then i had a prompting in my spirit to see the pastor after service. I opened up to him, confessed what I had been doing. Afterwards, he explained some things and prayed for me. He let me know that this addiction doesn’t define me and that sin does not have dominion over me. Since that day, I have never felt the urge to masturbate.
If you are enslaved, it’s because you want to be and not because you have to be.
Please note that I had been an executive in my school fellowship during this period, so I was living with this guilt and was still carrying out my duties. It was a load that I carried on my back until I was delivered. I decided I am going to have to live saved for real.
I learnt that what you allow into your eye and ear gates has an impact on your life. Hence, i started guarding my ear and eye gates.
I made a conscious efforts to stop reading books that would stir up lustful imaginations. Though I liked those type of books, I had to stop because I knew what they would do to my mind.
I also realised that masturbation is a mind thing.
So i started feeding my mind with God’s word and things that has the capacity to edify me. I noticed that the enemy no longer mess with my mind. My flesh began to line up with the spirit of God.
I found out that evil thrives in darkness, for the period that I still struggled and didn’t share this challenge, I was filled with guilt and a feeling of unworthiness. I was taunted by thoughts. I encourage you to share your struggles with the right people. Doing that, helped keep me in check and provided accountability.
I am thankful to God for freedom from mental slavery.
Struggling with addiction? Jesus Christ is a deliverer who can cleanse you from any sin. You can live an addiction-free life and Yes, it can be done!