Growing up as a girl among three boys, I was often the object of continuous needling and taunting. I was chubby and I loved eating food. I was just a little girl that loves eating her mamas’ food.
When everyone was sleeping, I would go to the kitchen, open the refrigerator quietly, take several slices of bread and slather it with mayonnaise. While watching the door of the kitchen, I would stuff my mouth with the bread and hurriedly run back to bed before anyone notices. This habit led to stealing meat from the soup pot and even stealing other peoples’ snacks during break in primary school. I later stopped most of those habits but by then I was the fattest child in my class and I started wishing to be slimmer.
As I grew older, I unconsciously started to avoid being in pictures because my legs were too fat. I would withdraw myself from people and sell myself short because of how I saw myself. I did go on diet plans and lost some weight but this didn’t affect my perception about myself which was FAT! No matter how much I was complimented about my appearance, I still perceived myself as FAT and UGLY!
I later realized that perceptions can be false because it stems from how we feel and not who we are. I also understood that PERCEPTIONS don’t cancel FACTS!
I felt ugly but the fact is this, “I AM BEAUTIFULLY and WONDERFULLY MADE”.
One day, I met a lady on a bus going to Awka, she wasn’t so pretty or beautiful in the sense of the word but I noticed that there was a peace and inner beauty she had.
The word ‘Beautiful” won’t be complete if it doesn’t radiate from the inside out because nothing beats inner beauty.
We got talking of which she started telling me about her love for God, how he was her best friend, how she spends time with God by studying his word and God’s plan for her children. She identified with my story and let me know that she used to have a very low self esteem because she felt she wasn’t so pretty like her girlfriends. She started seeing it as a flaw. It was then that God reminded her of his unconditional love for her and that her Identity is found in him not in her beauty.
Sometimes we buy the lie that we are not as beautiful as we should simply because we don’t look like what the world promotes as being “BEAUTIFUL”. So I bought this idea.
While listening to her, I started wishing to be like her because she is confident in her skin and in who God has called her to be. For a second, I wished I embraced my body earlier in all its form and quit seeking for peoples’ validation.
She showed me several scriptures in the bible which was proof that my Identity is not tied in any way to how I look or feel about myself. I broke down and started crying because I want to have that kind of peace. I want to be a more confident version of myself. I don’t want to be that girl who always thinks she is FAT and UGLY.
Maybe all you need to do is to connect to a higher version of YOU so you can exude the confidence you wish.
In connecting to a higher version of me, I surrendered my life to the one whose identity is tied to mine in the first place. I gave my life to Christ.
She prayed with me and sent me some audio messages, e-books on confidence, purpose and body image before she got off the bus. When I got home, I started listening to the messages and reading the books she sent me. This was when I discovered that my body is the temple of God and should be treated as such with respect in all ramifications including the food I allow my body to consume. I also discovered that God needs me healthy to carry out my purpose. With this knowledge, I started eating healthy, drinking my water and minding my business. It didn’t stop me from eating the foods I love.
Food is not the enemy but a tool.
I joined an accountability group online and in the six month, I lost about 10kg and became a healthier version of myself. Won’t He do it? Hahahaha. I have never been more confident with myself.
I am not just confident because I lost 10kg, Nah! I am confident with the realization that my confidence is not tied to how I look but to who I have- God!
You act more differently when you realize that your Identity is not found in your body Shape, Money, Fame, Beauty but in CHRIST!
I often reflect with a heart full of gratitude for meeting that nice lady on that bus to Awka. I lost her number and it has been quite difficult to trace her so that I can thank her again for allowing herself to be used by God to instill confidence to a young girl that was once lost in the world’s perception of her.
This is just a reminder that God is interested in every area of your life including the way you eat. Sounds Crazy right?
You don’t need to lose some weight to be confident. Even if you wish to lose some weight sis, till then, we want you to embrace all the rolls and thickness that comes with your beautiful body.
As summer is gradually coming to an end, I just want to let you know that EVERY BODY IS A SUMMER BODY!
Your summer body is confident.
Your summer body has stretch marks.
Your summer body is very black and uneven.
Your summer body is just amazing.
Your summer body is happy.
Your summer body brought your babies to this world.
Your summer body made you an athlete.
Your summer body is enough.
Your summer body has overcome insecurities.
Your summer body has learned how to embrace her natural curves.
Your summer body is pale.
Your summer body is more than a scale and a set of measurements.
Your summer body has been through a lot.
Choose your own kind of summer body and embrace it.
EVERY BODY IS A SUMMER BODY!
Love you
Xoxo
Christy
